Life Under The Influence of Depression



There is a lot of material out there geared toward trying to describe the nature of depression, especially when a Christian experiences it.

Everyone gets sad. Everyone experiences grief from some kind of suffering. However, what about those experiencing it over longer periods of time? Why are they still dragging their feet?

This issue is a labyrinth, so moving from generalities to specificities would take a lot of time and patience, and a combination of education and experience.
I do not speak here as one who is completely objective. Rather, I speak as someone who experiences this “labyrinth” daily. Even more confusingly (to some, anyway), I experience it as a Christian ( 1 Corinthians 15:3-4; 2 Corinthians 5:21 ; Galatians 1:4; 2:20; Romans 8:1,2). How could someone who is a Christian experience depression? For many of us (including myself at times) it doesn’t seem right. So you can imagine how a Christian who experiences depression could add layers to their suffering by questioning the integrity of their own faith. “I’m depressed because I’m depressed and I’m a Christian!” gets added into the mix of causes.  That’s been my experience, anyway! Has it been yours?

It’s been good for me to be surrounded by godly influences, so that when I’m not thinking straight, they can speak loving truths gently into my fractured frame of reference. With the help of a few of my own mentors, and a range of biblical counseling sources; I’ve been trying to arrange my own thinking accordingly.

As someone who is under the influence of depression, I can testify that it’s hard to think clearly. I would imagine it’s same with any given believer. In Christ, we have all been given the same Spirit that unites us all into fellowship with Him. On the other hand, “there is a variety of gifts, ministries, and effects (or operations/activities)” (1 Cor 12:4-7). I think this passage could very well account for the variety of personalities in the Church. It may be why  one believer may be of a different “constitution” than another, even though they both have genuine Spirit-wrought faith. I’ve seen this encouraging insight in C.H. Spurgeon (whom also suffered from depression):

“Some minds appear to have a gloomy tinge essential to their very individuality. Of them it may be said, “Melancholy marked [them] for her own”; fine minds withal and ruled by noblest principles, but yet they are most prone to forget the silver lining and to remember only the cloud. These infirmities may be no detriment to a man’s career of special usefulness. They may even have been imposed upon him by divine wisdom as necessary qualification for his peculiar course of service.”  

I think it may be helpful to take a “sufferer/sinner/saint, simultaneously”  paradigm (as proposed by Dr. Michael Emlet), with the recognition that sin is our central problem.

My struggles with depression (and anxiety) can be somewhat traced to my heavy tendency toward introspection. Introspection is the process of self-examination. It is “thinking about thinking”. There is a sense in which the Christian should examine themselves  (2 Corinthians 13:5; Lam 3:40); though in my own experience it can quickly morph into a neurotic exercise of self-sufficiency. Without the boundaries of the Spirit speaking through the Word of God, and the communion of other believers, it can quickly transform into a trust in my own abilities to locate the source of the problem and lift myself up by my own “cognitive bootstraps”. Sometimes I need to repent from my own religious scrupulosity.

Catastrophizing is one particular manifestation. This pattern of thinking  takes the form of a self-fulfilling prophecy.  Take any event and predict a negative outcome of that event. Given the negative outcome, a catastrophe will be sure to follow. (A common test-case this in Scripture is 1 Kings 19.) Catastrophizing is usually more geared toward the future.  It is a virtuous ability when used by the godly to avoid problems that could arise from a course of action. It is good to know the consequences of the behavior of ourselves and others. However it can become a vice when we forget that we are not like God and do not know the future, yet continue to think as if we do. This can fuel depression and anxiety, and you can understand why. We were not created to know every possible outcome for any given event.  Though we are tempted to say with Job; “For what I fear comes upon me, And what I dread befalls me. “I am not at ease, nor am I quiet, And I am not at rest, but turmoil comes.” (Job 3:25)

Another pattern of thought for this depressive introspection has it’s eye on the past-present. This is memory-rehearsal. This happens when we replay our memories on the big-screens in our heads, and analyze everything that went wrong, and how we could have done better. It isn’t always sinful, in that it can be useful for us to biblically analyze our faults and sins, and take action to “put them off” in the newness of life given to us by the power of the gospel. However, I  can become overwhelmed with unnecessary burden when I don’t take all of my past failures and sins to the cross of Christ, where he became my curse. “He will not always accuse” (Psalm 103:9) “Nor will I always be angry” thus says the LORD (Isaiah 57:15-16) “His anger lasts only a moment” (Psalm 3o:5). We should not harbor anger against our neighbors or ourselves (Leviticus 19:18). I don’t easily forget and forgive my sins (or the sins of others for that matter), but the Lord says that He does (Isaiah 43:25).  The constant rehearsal of my faults and the faults of others can often be  due to my unwillingness to forgive.  So, “‘Vengeance is Mine’ says the Lord” (Deu 32:35; Lev 19:18; Romans 12:19) is a call to peace for my trouble  heart.


In conclusion, remembering how God addresses my depression and anxiety, whether it be sin or suffering, does not erase my experience of it. I’ve asked the Lord more than just three times to take it away. To which He answers, “My grace is sufficient to you”. Depression/anxiety may be my thorn for life, left with me by the providential hand of God as mercy to keep me from being more of an egotistical jerk than I already am. It may be there to deflate me from being too easily arrogant (which is very easy for me).

These two verses  in “God Moves in Mysterious Ways” have been very comforting to me. They were penned by William Cowper, who experienced a few breaks with reality in his own life:

“Ye fearful saints, fresh courage take;
The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy and shall break
In blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.” 

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Ain’t No Killer Like “I”

“Ain’t no killer like I ” is a line in “War Inside”, written by Switchfoot.

In this song, they powerfully convey the inner struggle of our thoughts and emotions.

Can you identify with the speaker of this powerful song?  I can.

It’s tempting for me to trace my every struggle to the externalities. In desperation, I will spin the facts  to alleviate myself from my own responsibilities. It is the natural instinct of a heart marred by sin, but being impaired by sin doesn’t excuse me from my guilt. This is why I need a Savior.

Paul saw this war in himself;

“For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. or I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?”  (Romans 7:18-24)

Paul stood in daily need of a Savior.

James saw the same thing going on within the Church;

“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you? You desire and do not have, so you murder. You covet and cannot obtain, so you fight and quarrel. You do not have, because you do not ask” (James 4:1-2)

James traces the biggest enemy that I will ever fight to the home front. My passions. My desires. My jealousy. My envy.

I don’t know about you, but the following thought has crossed my mind many times: “Everyone else is doing something great except me”. That kind of thinking is the sound of a misdirected prayer. Looks like the Word of God  caught me right in the act.

Novelist and comedian, David Baddiel, coined  a german term to capture that line of thought. He called it “Erfolgtraurigkeit”;

“It’s actually a much more common feeling than Schadenfreude — even though we do of course feast like jackals on the fallen. In order to provide the ingredients for the banquet, modern culture requires an almost constant stream of new successes. It is also, I would contend, a somewhat less malignant one. Schadenfreude seems to me to be the coldest of emotions, an expression of nothing but bitterness, whereas Erfolgtraurigkeit has at least the virtue of sadness, the others’ success having thrown the desolation of your life into bad relief.” 

This line of thinking is the perfect soil for the seed of despair. It’s the noose at the end of the rope, around the Christian’s neck. It’s just one example of the war I fight within myself.

With Paul I cry out to my Savior, Jesus Christ, who is the God who fights for me (Exo 14:14, 15:3; Deu 3:22; Col 2:11; Gal 5:24), with a constraining love  that conquers all. ( 2 Cor 5:14, Romans 8:35-37, 1 Cor 13:7,8,13)

May “I” shrink, and Christ be magnified in me.

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Quicksand Depression

Vincent Van Gogh (1890)

Vincent Van Gogh (1890)


“Mire”, “Quicksand”, and “Slough”, “Prison”, “Trap”  are just a few of the well known tropes used to describe the experience of depression. This literary depiction of depression is most likely derivative from the imagery in Psalm 40:2;

“He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings.”

John Bunyan, in “The Pilgrim’s Progress” depicts it this way;

‘This miry Slough is such a place as cannot be mended; it is the descent whither the scum and filth that attends conviction for sin doth continually run, and therefore is it called the Slough of Despond: for still as the sinner is awakened about his lost condition, there ariseth in his soul many fears, and doubts, and discouraging apprehensions, which all of them get together, and settle in this place; and this is the reason of the badness of this ground” (1)

A powerful imagination is a terrible foe to someone suffering depression.  William Cowper (author of the hymn “There is a Fountain Filled with Blood” ) described one of his many bouts with depression along the same lines of Bunyan’s “Slough” :

“Conviction of sin took place, especially of that just committed; the meanness of it, as well as its atrocity, were exhibited to me in colours so inconceivably strong that I despised myself, with a contempt not to be imagined or expressed … This sense of it secured me from the repetition of a crime which I could not now reflect on without abhorrence … A sense of God’s wrath, and a deep despair of escaping it, instantly succeeded” (2)

When depression comes, the desire to fight it is quite natural. Who would want to sink into the darkness and the gloom of themselves? However, the more depression is fought, the lower the descent. Work up enough energy to change to change the circumstances, and it will just backfire.

The speaker in Lamentations 3 certainly experienced it:

He has walled me about so that I cannot escape;
    he has made my chains heavy;
though I call and cry for help,
    he shuts out my prayer;
he has blocked my ways with blocks of stones;
    he has made my paths crooked.” (v. 7-9) 


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Seeing Backwards

"There is nothing new under the sun" (Ec 1:9)

“There is nothing new under the sun” (Ec 1:9)

If you’re like me, you want to get ahead in life. You want to succeed. If you do not succeed, you at least want to be recognized. You want to be known. You want to be loved.

So for as long as you can remember, you’ve pursued these things because you’ve found them to be valuable. If you associate yourself with valuable things, then people will find you valuable. If people find you valuable, then you will be recognized, you will be known, you will be loved. When you possess these things, you will live happily ever after (or so you thought.)

You’ve had your hand in the treasure box before. You’ve held valuable things.

a. You do the things that people love, and so you are the thing that people love. It’s a great life.

b. You have a significant other (you’re in a dating relationship, you’re engaged, or perhaps you hit the jackpot and got married.)

c. Your grades in school are/were outstanding.

d. You play a crucial role as an employee of your dream job.

e. You are financially comfortable (even after you buy all the things that cause people to love you more.)

You’ve probably achieved one of these things. Maybe you’ve achieved a combination of these things. If you’re really lovable, you’ve done all of them. All of these things make you happy, because having all of these things make you valuable. (Again, so you thought)

Au contraire mon frère

Thinking on those terms will lead to failure and despair.

If I believe that my worth equals the sum total of my possessions, then what am I to believe when they are taken away?

Here is how the thinking goes:

a. No one seems to be interested in the same things that I’m interested in. Socially, I can’t seem to get my foot in the door. Everyone keeps shutting me out. The more I try, the more I get burned! What’s the point? What’s wrong with me? I’m worthless!

b. I’m the only one in my friend group who doesn’t have a significant other. Everyone else in my circle of friends is  either dating, engaged or married, but I keep blowing it. What’s wrong with me? I’m worthless!

c. I’m a failure when it comes to school. I can never get the grades that I want. Look at my peers, they aren’t struggling at all. They make it look like a piece of cake. Some of them are talking about all of their awards. Here I am working my heart out, and I have nothing to show for it. What is wrong with me? I’m worthless!

d. My life is falling apart. I can’t get the dream job. My plan B didn’t even come through. Now what? I’m of no use to society. I have nothing to contribute to anyone. What is wrong with me? I’m worthless!

e. I don’t have the cash. I can’t do the things that I want to do because the lack of money prevents me! I can’t even provide my own basic needs!  How am I supposed to pay for food, drink, clothing, or shelter?

Do we strictly find our identity in our possessions? Answer that question by monitoring how you handle loss, failure, and disappointment.

When your dreams are shattered, and you find yourself running about tearfully, trying to salvage whats left of the pieces, you’ll find out what it is you value.

“Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?” (Matthew 6:25)

Should you then seek great things for yourself? Do not seek them. For I will bring disaster on all people, declares the LORD, but wherever you go I will let you escape with your life.'” (Jeremiah 45:5)

“Whatever my eyes desired I did not keep from them. I kept my heart from no pleasure, for my heart found pleasure in all my toil, and this was my reward for all my toil. Then I considered all that my hands had done and the toil I had expended in doing it, and behold, all was vanity and a striving after wind, and there was nothing to be gained under the sun. (Ecc 2:10-11)

“What causes quarrels and what causes fights among you? Is it not this, that your passions are at war within you?” (James 4:1)

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Detangling Hermeneutics

With all of the controversy surrounding Gungor and his statements on the flood story, it should be helpful to step back and look at how the Inerrancy of Scripture and Hermeneutics interact with one another.

Many who disagree with a historical reading of Genesis (characterizing those who read it in such a way as “literalists”), often confuse the exegetical reasons for reading it that way, with a statement of inerrancy.

In other words, when exegetical arguments are given that suggest that Creation was a historical event, that Adam was the first man, or that the flood actually happened, they cannot distinguish these interpretations from a commitment to inerrancy.

I think Moises Silva provides a helpful distinction;

“Now I happen to believe that the essential historicity of Genesis 1-3 is a fundamental article of Christian orthodoxy. It would surely require hermeneutical prestidigitation to argue that the original writer intended those chapters as any less historical than the later patriarchal narratives (and could the original audience have discovered any such distinction between the early and later chapters of the book?). For that reason and others, such as Paul’s argumentation in Romans 5 and 1 Corinthians 15, I would want to argue very strongly that the proper interpretation of the Genesis material is one that does justice to its historical claim.

And yet I would want to argue just as strongly that such an interpretation is independent of my commitment to inerrancy. These are two distinct questions. Of course, once we have established exegetically that the first chapters of Genesis teach historical facts, then our belief in infallibility requires us to accept those chapters as factual. But infallibility, apart from exegesis, does not by itself determine historicity. Otherwise we would be obligated to accept as historical Nathan’s story in 2 Samuel 12:1-4 or even the parable of the trees in Judges 9:7-15.

(Old Princeton, Westminster, and Inerrancy” in Inerrancy and Hermeneutic, p. 75)

To be sure, inerrancy is something that scripture teaches about itself, however as Dr. Silva pointed out, the “quality” or “character” of the text doesn’t immediately bring forth the content. By the same token, in rejecting an erroneous reading of the text, one cannot appeal directly to scripture’s infallibility without demonstrating how the reading is erroneous on exegetical terms.

In short, if one can exegetically demonstrate that Scripture is teaching a historical flood, then one who really holds to the profitability and sufficiency of scripture as God’s Word must find some other reason than purported ambiguity to disagree

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Gungorian Mythology (cont.)

Gungor said:


Do I believe that God literally drowned every living creature 5,000 years ago in a global flood except the ones who were living in a big boat? No, I don’t.


Peter said:

But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you, who will secretly bring in destructive heresies, even denying the Master who bought them, bringing upon themselves swift destruction. In their greed they will exploit you with false words. Their condemnation from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep…..if he did not spare the ancient world, but preserved Noah, a herald of righteousness, with seven others, when he brought a flood upon the world of the ungodly….then the Lord knows how to rescue the godly from trials, and to keep the unrighteous under punishment until the day of judgment.

(2 Peter 2:1,3,5,9)

Gungor says:

And you can still love God and love people and read those early Genesis stories as myth with some important things to teach us. Not all of you will be ready to do that, and that’s perfectly ok

Peter says:

For we did not follow cleverly devised myths when we made known to you the power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, but we were eyewitnesses of his majesty….knowing this first of all, that no prophecy of Scripture comes from someone’s own interpretation. For no prophecy was ever produced by the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.

(2 Peter 1:16,20-21)

It could be said that when Peter uses the word “myth”, he is probably referring to the events that took place in the NT. However it should be noted that immediately following these statements in v.20-21, he refers to a series of events recorded in the OT. He compares God’s “judgement ordeals” in the ancient world to that of the Last day, in which Christ will judge the world for all to see.

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Gungorian Mythology

Gungor says:

 Do I believe God exists? Yes.
Do I believe Jesus is the Son of God? Yes.
Do I believe that Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness? Yes
Do I believe that God literally drowned every living creature 5,000 years ago in a global flood except the ones who were living in a big boat? No I don’t

Jesus says:


For as were the days of Noah, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. For as in those days before the flood they were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, until the day when Noah entered the ark, and they were unaware until the flood came and swept them all away, so will be the coming of the Son of Man. (Matt 24:37-39)


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Gungor’s Reckoning: There is No Box (and other metaphysical myths told by fundies!)

Recently, many individuals in the evangelical community have been disappointed once again, but this time by a talented band that represented all things Christian. Websites reported Gungor saying “I lost my metaphysic” and that they lost their belief in  “[s]tories that we lived by, defined ourselves with, but can no longer believe in.”

The article continues;

Why? Not because my life looks like Jesus or doesn’t look like Jesus. But because of my lack of ability to nail down all the words and concepts of what I exactly BELIEVE.” Then he nails down exactly what he doesn’t believe—in Adam and Eve or the Flood. He has “no more ability to believe in these things then I do to believe in Santa Claus.”

Two words that Gungor used to identify this “epiphany”: Apophatic Mysticism.

I was saddened after reading all of this a few days ago, though it wasn’t exactly surprising. As a fan of Gungor’s work (especially “Beautiful Things”) I listened to his music, and knew the lyrics pretty well. He did a great job expressing his thoughts on biblical truth. I found myself saying “amen” to the dimensions of biblical truth he sang of, with the musical composition and skill with that of a genius. There were, however,  a couple of lyrics in “Cannot Keep You”  that always irritated me. I know that many are not as concerned as I am about precision when speaking of God and His Self-revelation to us. I also know that my zeal for precision can also be a vice, turning me into an arrogant jerk.

Despite my failing, scripture is still adamant about “a form of sound words”. Paul, under The Holy Spirit’s direction and breathing, wrote to Timothy, who was the closest thing he had to a son;  “Hold fast the form of sound words, that you have heard from me, in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.By the Holy Spirit who dwells within us, guard the good deposit entrusted to you.”  ( 2 Timothy 2:13-14).

These “sound words” are treasured by Paul. His life had been a testimony of  his treasury of scripture, and with his life coming to an end, he instructed Timothy, as Timothy had been since he was a child, to treasure all of Scripture as God’s Speech, concerning the covenant he made with man in Christ.

God’s purposes from all eternity, and all of his actions from beginning to end  were made clear, and were revealed in our precious Savior Jesus Christ. He abolished death. He brought life and immortality to light through the gospel. (2 Tim 2:10)

It was because of this, and to this  that Paul was appointed a preacher, apostle, and teacher. And it was for this reason that he rejoiced in suffering for it. “But I am not ashamed, for I know whom I have believed, and I am convinced that he is able to guard until that Day what has been entrusted to me.” (2 Tim 2:11-12)

There is no room for me, or anyone else (especially me) to be apathetic about this mystery that has been revealed. God becoming known to us, by His own choosing. Not only that, but He was made like us in every way, yet without sin.

Scripture is  God-breathed. The Character of Scripture is authoritative because it is God in which it originates. How convenient it is for we who are skeptical, or who have reservations, or are embarrassed by a Holy God to say “well man was involved with writing scripture, so it isn’t going to be perfect”. There are many problems with this kind of sophistry, besides being a lousy methodology, and I do not intend to touch on it here.

The verse that was of concern in “Cannot Keep You” say;

“we cannot keep you in a church
we cannot keep you in a Bible
or it’s just another idol to box you in”

The first line of this verse is okay. We know of God’s transcendence, that His essence is not constrained to one place at a time. He is Self-occupying, before there was anything to be occupied, He was, and still is today and for all eternally I AM.

But it is also said that God walked in the garden (Gen 3:8). Does Gungor believe that to be true or false? Is it literal (however he is using this word, literal is a confusing word to use given that it could mean the original intention of the author, or referring to a wooden, prima facie, sort of literalism)

It is also said that God met with Moses on Mount Sinai, by His own choosing, in the form of an unburning bush (Ex 3:1-22). The unburning bush was a sign of God’s transcendence, but His free decision to dwell with Israel, not consuming them as if He needed them, but covenanting with and caring  for them nonetheless.  Does Gungor believe this is true or false? Did we put God in a box? Did God put Himself in a bush?

This kind of phraseology is ambiguous at best, and intentionally deceptive at worst. I understand that there is a desire to keep anyone from putting words in God’s mouth. However, saying “You can’t put God in a box” can just as easily be used to backdoor false teaching. Think about the line above;

“We cannot keep you in a bible or it’s just another idol to box you in”

One of the most problematic things about this reasoning, is the hypocritical nature of it. Whether it was intended by Gungor this way or not. The subtle hypocrisy can be exposed by asking this question;

“Oh yeah? Says who?”

Think about it. Who defines idolatry?

If you said “God” you are correct. If you said YHWH, then you get an added bonus of 100 points for being more specific.

Next question. Where do we get the definition of idolatry?

Is it from Scripture? Or is it a pious agnosticism that uses a lot of words to communicate not much of anything?

Think about it until the follow up

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Surely Goodness Will Follow Me

“Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the LORD forever.” (Psalm 23:6)

Seems simple enough to believe, especially when our eyes see easy times. When I eat food, and I’m filled it is very easy to say. When I’m around my friends, and we laugh and have a good time it’s very easy to say. When I study enough for a test, and score a high grade. When I submit a paper, and the comments from my professor are encouraging. When I see a beautiful girl, and her speech is gentle, and her adorning is that of her inner person  surely then goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life.

But what about when things fall apart?

What about when I’m hungry, and I cannot satisfy it, is this not goodness and mercy from the LORD?

What about when my friends depart? Or anger (whether it belongs to me or them) tears us apart. So that my only companions are darkness and depression; Is that not goodness and mercy from the LORD?

What about when I fail? Whether it be a grade, a class, a duty, a friend; Is that not goodness and mercy from the LORD

What if I am rejected by a spouse? What if an engagement is called off? What if the significant other of your dreams has no desire to begin or continue a relationship with you, because whether for good reason not, if there be any reason at all? Is God not showering me with His mercy and blessings?

Is it that God has forsaken me? (Psalm 22:1) Is God too far off to deliver me from the turmoil that has befallen me, so that I may find rest? ( Psalm 22:2)

But God says He is good, and merciful, He said that’s His name;

“The LORD, the LORD, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness, who keeps lovingkindness for thousands, who forgives iniquity, transgression and sin; yet He will by no means leave the guilty unpunished, visiting the iniquity of fathers on the children and on the grandchildren to the third and fourth generations.” ( Exodus 34:6-7)

Am I to conclude that the LORD’s goodness and mercy has brought me into this wasteland?

“Then Jesus was led up by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted by the devil.” (Matthew, Luke 4:1)

Am I to conclude that that the LORD’s goodness has brought me this trouble?

“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.” (James 1:2-3)

Goodness and mercy is the way out of the prison of thinking I am self-sufficient, and able to do God’s work in my own strength, without any conflict or difficulty.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” (James 1:5)

Goodness and mercy gives in spite of my faults, to repair my brokenness, and the things that I’ve broken in my brokenness.

“But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.” (James 1:6)

“must believe and not doubt” means that I must know Who it is I’m asking, and what it is I’m asking for. I must begin by asking for  wisdom in how to ask.

Doubt does not know what to ask for, because doubt does not seek to be informed. Doubt seeks a quick fix

“the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do.” (James 1:6-8)

Doubt lacks stability because doubt’s hope is spread in too many loves. When one stock crashes, it jumps to another god hoping for delivery. Of course the  person who thinks that way will never have a prayer answered,  they wouldn’t stick around long enough to see it answered. It’s not the prayer in question, but the nature of being double-minded.

But the LORD has taught the Christian how prayers are answered;

“If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you” (John 15:7)

Goodness and mercy following me is not conditional to circumstances that I perceive to be good, but goodness and mercy follow me to teach me what goodness and mercy  are. Goodness and mercy surround me, but the problem is my nature (which determines my perception). This is where wisdom comes in.

“Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. But the rich should take pride in their humiliation”

The wisdom from above teaches me to see humble circumstances as something to take pride and rejoice in as given by . The Wisdom from above teaches me to see my “richness” and “fame” as a time to take pride in the fact that I am very small, and that I’m not as important as I would like to think. All of my achievements, absent the LORD, will be brought to nothing. It’s time to rethink why it is I do the things that I do.

“—since they will pass away like a wild flower. For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business.” (James 1:11)

All of it is vanity.  My disappointment in those things were the result of God’s wisdom

The LORD’s mercy will not leave me in disappointment. The Love of God will never put me to shame. God will never say to me “I told you so!”

The LORD’s goodness and mercy will lead me into a good place to rest, beyond the earthy gains, even through the valley of the shadow of death.


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You are not your own! You’ve been bought with a price!

The LORD knows whom are His (John 10:14) , more so than we know ourselves. (Psalm 139:1,Romans 8:6,27)  He knows the number of  hairs on our heads (Luke 12:7, Matt. 10:30). Believer, He knows our suffering, and sympathizes with it, because we are united into His body, and participate in those sufferings together (Heb 4:15, Philippians 3:10-11, 2 Cor. 1:5; Romans 6:5, Romans 8:17,36; 1 Pet 4:13)

Does this not include our longings, our desires, our cravings? Whether good or evil? (Matt 9:4) Do we commit the Corinthian error of thinking that God does not care about our sexuality? (1 Cor 6:15-16) The LORD cares for this, because He uniquely crafted it for husband and wife, as a means of holiness and happiness , being manifested in the joyful giving of one another. (Hebrews 13:4, Prov 5:18-19).

Our crucified Savior has recreated us, He has realigned us to something that the best of this world can barely foreshadow.

“Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.” (2 Cor 5:17)
“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” (2 Corinthians 4:18)

Sex within the confines of the marriage of a man and a woman is something  enjoyed in the temporary, but it something that God has attached with eternal implications. For what is temporary gives way to what is eternal. What we see through the mirror dimly (in this age), we will see clearly in the next (1 Cor 13:12)

“Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh. This is a profound mystery–but I am talking about Christ and the church. Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.” (Eph 5:31-33)

We must therefore flee immorality, and especially sexual immorality. We desecrate God’s temple when we commit those acts (1 Cor 6:19) . We sin against our own body (1 Cor 6:18).  Paul tells us that sexual sins are uniquely heinous, and asks a rhetorical question to highlight this;

Shall I then take away the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? May it never be! ” (1 Cor 6:15)

he adds;

 For He says, “The two shall become one flesh.” But the one who joins himself to the Lord is one spirit with Him.” (1 Cor 6:17) and then makes the distinction “outside the body vs. against the body”; “the immoral man sins against his own body.” (v.18) 

There is something very significant about our sexuality, that displays God’s handiwork. When it is enjoyed in the confines of marriage, it testifies to the mystery of Christ being United to His Bride when He finally appears again. (Rev 19:7, Isa 54:5, 2 Corinthians 11:2)

It is in this context  that we can understand why  God sees any other expression as detestable (Leviticus 18:22, Romans 1:27; Lev 20:13; Exo 22:19, Lev 18:23)

There is forgiveness in the LORD, sexual sins (along with others) was something that the Corinthians practiced, yet Paul says to them “ Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.” (1 Cor 6:11),”

We who are in Christ  have been given everything we need for godliness, and God will not hold anything back from us. We all need wisdom, let us pray for it. We all need the love and mercy of Christ to constrain us to the freedom that He has called us to. The Lord lovingly and gently sanctifies us by introducing trials into our lives, (Eph 1:10, James 1:3).

“If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you”

Putting the wisdom that originates from our evil hearts to death is calling out to God, and the wisdom of the cross of Christ. May we all cling to the gospel. To rejoice in sexual immorality is to preach another gospel.


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